I want to write about fun things again. But I simply have no motivation with the way things are right now. Maybe one day I can get back to posting regularly and it will uplift your spirits in the way my words used to. But my heart is sad and my fingers just can’t seem to find the right words to give you much anymore.

I had to excuse myself from the end of a family gathering this morning. I had held it in as long as I could and I couldn’t hide it anymore. Ben came to wrap his arms around me because he knew what was happening and I fell apart as soon as I smelled his cologne so close to my nose. I begged him to not ever let it be him. It can’t be him. We need him too much.

Yet again, three more brothers in blue won’t ever walk the streets again.

Three more brothers lost in this endless game of us versus them and them versus us.

At first, I say to myself that I don’t know what we are doing to each other or how we got here. But then I realize that is so far from the truth. I know exactly how we got here, and you do, too. To place blame on one set of shoulders is far too little blame placed.

We are all to blame for the lives lost in gun battles on our streets. All of us have blood on our hands.

They scream “Black Lives Matter!” at us, and we scream back, “ALL Lives Matter!” and yet no one can hear above the screaming.

Perhaps because we don’t really believe it.

If all lives mattered, we would treat each other with kindness and gentleness and patience. We wouldn’t be afraid to look each other in the eye at the grocery store, and we would extend mercy to all who fail us. We would love every person with grace and forgiveness without forcing someone to prove their worth to us.

Instead, we create divides when someone wrongs us and live with deep grudges. We publicly shame people on social media when we don’t like the way they drive or the pants they wear. We commit murder in our hearts to those who we don’t care for and we choose revenge, and not respect.

If all lives mattered, we would stand in the gap for the defenseless, the poor, and the needy. We would be lining up at food shelters and job centers offering aid to those who need it. We would willingly give our excess to the ones with nothing.

Instead, our food pantries sit empty while they beg for donations. We look in disdain at the homeless man on the corner, assuming he really just wants to buy booze with our money. We use the excuse that we work hard for our money and we support our own people. There are plenty of jobs they could get. We complain when our tax dollars fund Medicare and Medicaid and food stamps, but we aren’t getting off our butts to change the system. We pretend that people who use government assistance are all taking advantage of the system because that makes us feel better about not using it.

If all lives mattered, we would protect the unborn.  They are lives, after all.

Instead, we turn a blind eye to the thousands of babies lost daily to abortion, standing behind the reasoning of “choice,” even though that choice is one-sided.

If all lives mattered, we would be on the front lines of serving the orphans and widows. We would have no need for children’s homes or DHR. We would even choose mentor roles for the fatherless and motherless, and ensure that no widow was ever without food or heat in her home.

Instead, we let children sit and wait for a family that will never come, until they age out of the system and we hope the best for them. We ignore sons and daughters with no positive parental influence. We let children and elderly go hungry and thirsty for days on end. And we don’t even look up to see it happening.

If all lives mattered, we would choose our families over the materialistic parts of life. We would talk to our children. We would encourage good behavior and discourage weak or narrowminded practices. We would talk to our spouses and remain faithful to commitment.

Instead, we don’t look up from our phones and convince ourselves that the activities we sign our children up for are good for them, when they are really taking the place of family rearing. We let pornography, money, and selfishness tear our marriages apart. And we call it the “modern family.”

If all lives mattered, we would elect government officials who also believe that we matter. We would have choices in people who were honorable and distinguished who also led our cities and countries with wisdom and respect for all persons.

Instead, we vote for the lesser of two evils, believing we are on their side so it won’t be too bad for us. Our leaders spew vitriol about each other and threaten certain people groups, all while lining their pockets and laughing behind the curtain at our stupidity. And we’ll vote for them because they’ve convinced us that we have to.

If all lives mattered, we would be on our knees in prayer for our nation. We would be crying out to the Almighty God for rest and relief, and we would be petitioning each other to do the same.

Instead, we post another meme on Facebook and move on about our seemingly unaffected lives.

If all lives mattered, we would recognize first that we were ALL created in the image of God. We would recognize second that we were ALL created equal. Color, class, status and any other things would not define us under God or under the law of the land.

Instead, we have decided that we simply cannot get along because our skins are different colors, or we speak a different language, or we come from different parts of the world. We describe each other first by race or creed, and second by character. And we teach our children this.

If all lives mattered, we would stop saying it. And we would live that out every moment of our lives so that we wouldn’t have to say it. It would just be true.

But we won’t. We’ll move on to the next problem the media tells us that we have. We’ll be outraged about that for a while, and then we’ll move on.

Meanwhile, we’re bleeding in the streets the same blood that we all have – it’s all red. And it all runs out eventually.

We all know that all lives matter. We just don’t care enough to make it true.

Until we do care enough, nothing will change. Nothing.

The blood in the streets will keep running, and it will be on all our hands.

Because they didn’t matter to you.



Image copyright Relevant Magazine.